Thursday, 12 January 2017

HONOURABLE MINISTER, HORRIBLE MINISTER (PART 2)

The corrupt system in the country ensured that every minister or top government appointee got a Golden Handshake from contractors, consultants, influence peddlers and sundry other jobbers upon assumption of office. This Golden Hanshake comprised mainly of hard currency plus an assortment of cars, land and mansions in any location of his choice.

It was a step designed to ‘wet the ground’, warm their way into the new minister’s heart and generally suck him into the vortex of corruption in that ministry or department.


Karimu was offered and he greedily accepted with both hands.

There is an unofficial association of contractors in his ministry. 

They organised a reception for him in a 5-star hotel in the nation’s capital just two weeks after his appointment. It was an opportunity to impress the new man. They had conducted a background check on the Honourable Minister and found that he was a man of modest means. He had a house which was uncompleted, a harem of 5 wives and 20 children. 

All these need constant ‘financial lubrication’ if only to keep up with the new status of their husband and father.

So, four major contractors of the Federal Ministry of Education and Modern Technologies packaged an initial welcome gift of $100,000 each. The cash was carefully stacked in $1000 bills inside a briefcase draped with gift wrapping paper and presented to him at a secret location after the welcome ceremony.

Thus, within a fortnight of his appointment, Karimu Ayeole was richer by $400,000 tax free!

Assurances were given by the contractors about further ‘PR gestures’ as long as the minister’s ‘critical cooperation’ is secured in safeguarding their business interests in the ministry.

Next, Karimu summoned the Permanent Secretary and all the Directors to a meeting where he asked them to effect a change in the signatories to the ministry’s bank accounts such that only the Minister and the Director of Finance and Administration would be the only signatories.

The meeting dragged on for two days during which the Permanent Secretary painstakingly tried to convince Karimu that the arrangement as proposed by him was contrary to extant Financial Management guidelines that were still in force. The guidelines stipulated that the Permanent Secretary is the Accounting Officer of the Ministry. The Minister is just the political head.

It took the intervention of the Federal Cabinet Office for Karimu to back down.

Karimu loved to travel around – not within the country but without.
He enjoyed savouring the perks and appurtenances of such travels. From the West Coast of Africa to such far flung places like the Nordic countries or the backwaters of South America, Karimu would go there. Even for trips that a Director could well be competent to represent the government, he opted to go – just so as to collect the estacode.

He became so notorious that he was nicknamed ‘the estacode minister’ by staffers of the Cabinet Office from where he must obtain clearance before jetting out.

The only trip he refused to go was to Kabul, Afghanistan where Ministers of Modern Technologies in the 3rd World met to forge some kind of cooperation that would assist them to take advantage of the ever expanding modern tech market.

Karimu did not go because according to him, he wouldn’t want to be killed by the Taliban! Needless to say nobody else offered to go!
With the proceeds of his rabid accumulations, Karimu bought quite a few properties in Lagos and Port Harcourt. He also completed his building in his home state and upgraded the wardrobes of his wives.

Oh yes, mention must be made of his shenanigans with ladies.
Despite public posturing to the contrary, Karimu Ayeole loves women. He loves them light complexioned, slim and young. He is a fan of that former Governor now a Senator who took an Egyptian wench as wife. He therefore went in search of the latest addition to his harem. The opportunity to do this was not too long in coming.
He was invited to a symposium by a group of students one day. 

There, Karimu’s attention was fixated on a young girl. She was about 17 or 18 years old, fair-skinned, tall and of course slim. She sat at a corner of the hall where she occasionally turned to her friends to engage in sidetalk. Karimu beckoned on his Personal Assistant to go and collect the girl’s number.

He got his wish and that week, he sent a Toyota Camry ‘muscle’ to her parents.

The gobsmacked parents, who were a little bit better than peasants, could not believe their luck.
This was to be the first of the additional three wives he acquired within one year of his appointment as minister.

To be continued...!.

Have a rewarding week, everyone!

Omi Tuntun, Igba Otun!

PS: This story is pure fiction. The characters are fictional. The plot is fictional. Any semblance to any dead or living person is absolutely coincidental. Thanks.

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